(written July 30, 2025)
Simple threads
Slipping by
Transitions, changes,
Will it end?
Life is Sailing
A place of life exploration, sailing journeys, and piece of thought
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(written July 29, 2025)
Tired. Exhausted. Is it the working all day unpacking? Something about cardboard smells? Maybe I need more sleep. Or just fresh air.
My brother said it seems like my family and I have been moving for forever…
Why, yes. Yes, it does.
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(written Monday, August 4, 2025)
Kids learn tough lessons… like, always aim a throw below the shoulders, especially when you are a few feet away.
Or… own up to what you did. Apologize. Ask if they are okay. Try to make it right.
Or… a good friend walks with his friend home when they are hurt. Stay with them when they hurt.
Or… be brave enough to follow up in that friendship and give them the space to work through what happened.
Tough life lessons worth remembering for us all.
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Disappointment transformed into conversation.
A chance to connect and discover beautiful skills of another.
Mosaics of glass, shells, mortar, and metal.
People fellowshipping together. -
(written Tuesday, August 5, 2025)
It’s about deep pressure hugs when he is clearly cracking emotionally.
It’s about cleaning up messes I didn’t make and teaching them to clean up after themselves.
It’s about loving her and encouraging her to follow her dreams even after she’s been nasty when driven by fear.
It’s about instruction but moreso guidance and love.
It’s about the soft butterfly kisses from sweet little lashes.
It’s about giggles and tickles.
It’s about having people who pull me away from interests and into their lives.
It’s about seeing gifts develop in others and finding ways to promote their growth.
It’s about showing them my needs too so they can learn to care for adults who care for them.
It’s about growing in marriage.
It’s about playtime and mealtime and vacation time and rest time and workout time and sunset time.
It’s about noticing the colors of the sunset with many eyes.
What is parenting about? It’s about them and us together, apart, growing, and going.
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(from Sunday, August 3, 2025)
Looming clouds covered the sky
Loading give away items into the van
Glorious hymns, sung in full gusto
Streamed across the neighborhood road
A blue Corvette
Perched upon blocks
"There is a Fountain" song a-singing,
Blessing the grease work on rear axle
Who knew we'd find a kindred soul?!
Familiar names exchanged from afar
We had trod the same path
To hear heaven's word
Now on the same street we live!
Friendship, perhaps, begun by
A blue Corvette
And hymn. -
I did not sail today. There was a small boat regatta nearby. I was excited to participate and take a break from unpacking and the drudgery of cutting my way through cardboard room after room. It was a hot and humid day, but the sun was shining and the water glistened invitingly. Generous new friends were helping me rig the laser I was going to borrow.
As the race start neared, I sent my gaze skyward to survey the weather. Large cumulonimbus clouds. How had I not noticed them earlier? Hmmm… a little trepidation began to grow. I already was a bit uneasy because of my injured middle toe that had flared up a couple of days ago. On top of that, the hull was one I had not used before. It belonged to a responsible sailor but the hull appeared a little worse for wear, showing its age of twenty-two years. But I could give her a chance. The accessories were lovely, the main sheet was just the width I preferred, the tiller extension pristine, all of the controls nicely in order and well kept.
So I pulled the dolley down to the beach. With a little help from fellow sailors, I was ready to sail. Within no time, I had her humming, skimming the water on a beam reach. But something felt off, a little squirrelly. Perhaps it was the wind – a little switchy in the basin, especially with the direction the wind came from over the land. And it wasn’t just switchy. It was puffy too, random gusts filling my sail. The toughest part for me was the hull of the boat felt … well… different. In a Laser, one sits close to the water, which is one of my favorite things about sailing a Laser. But on this boat, I was practically sitting in the water. Literally, my butt was dragging in the water when I was on a beam reach. It reminded me of sailing a Topper, which is a boat made of plastic. In strong winds, that boat would sag in the middle and drag my butt through the waves. Lasers are made of fiberglass. There should be no sag in the middle of a Laser. My tacking also felt off, sloppy.
Now all that said, to be honest, it could also have just been me. I did not feel confident going out there to sail today. Call it a premonition. Call it being chicken. My head was not in the game like I needed it to be.
So I sailed up to the race committee boat and told them I was calling it. Before any of the races began, I pulled myself out of the competition. For the duration of the races, I sat on the beach and watched as the boats competed against each other. It looked quite puffy from the shore, with boats feathering into the wind to try to de-power the sails when sailing upwind. I even saw a death roll capsize when a sailor was sailing downwind. Puffy and strong with building intensity during the regatta.
Although I questioned my instincts and feelings and was quite disappointed to not be sailing, I knew I had made the best call not to sail today. It stinks to say no, but sometimes when things just don’t feel right, we need to say no. There will be other days to sail.
(Life analogy: we don’t have to feel compelled to jump in with abandon when our gut says danger. Choose to do something else. Make the wise call.)
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How do you inspire change? Have you ever seen the effective result of your attempts to promote change, be it in an organization or person? Does anyone have recommendations on books that were helpful to inform them on methods that produce positive change?
As a parent, we are often promoters and teachers of change. “Keep your feet off the table.” “You need to learn to clean your room without being told.” “How should you treat your brother?” “Everyone cannot talk to me at the same time.” Sometimes it feels like I am coaching change 24/7!
Thinking toward a small group of people… what is the most effective way to lead the culture toward the direction that will promote growth within the group? As a leader, these are questions that must be asked. Leading by example is key, of course. A leader who expects the rest of the group to follow a set of expectations they are not willing to follow will obviously run into resistance. It is hypocrisy, and most people catch on pretty quickly. However, leading by example does not seem to engender much of a desire to change perhaps because it is easy to look at someone else’s stellar example and think, “Well, that is great and seems to be working well for them, but that’s just not me.”
So how can someone lead a group to change? I think marketing tools could be handy here. Basically, they need to be sold on the idea that change will lead to better circumstances for them which will make them feel happier. Posting pictures of the desired change. Bringing in speakers who promote the idea well but in a subtle, education-growth opportunity mindset. Sometimes forcing small change (I know that sounds so harsh) can actually open the eyes and hearts of a group to the benefit that the idea holds.
This has happened about six times with my children this summer. It is almost comical. I will suggest we go somewhere… there will be a lot of grumbling “Do we have to? Can I just stay home? I don’t want to…” Then at the end, most of what I hear is, “Thanks, Mom, for bringing us here. It was so cool!” There is always one kiddo who refuses to acknowledge it was a great idea, but clearly he enjoyed the activity while doing it. So now that I have those six times in the bank, the next time I suggest an activity they are not wild about, I can say, “Remember last time how you thought you knew what you wanted. Trust me, adventure and change can be fun. Let’s try something new… with a grateful attitude upfront this time.”
So, how does change work in groups for you?
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Cell phones. Oh, cell phones. I love that they keep us connected with family and friends. How convenient it is to pull up a video on how to fix a car issue or sail faster or parent better. For that moment of joy in our child’s face, we have a readily accessible, easily portable camera at our fingertips.
Then there are those times when I’m speaking with someone on the phone only to discover that they are going through their email while talking and “listening” to me. Or looking through pictures. Perhaps finding that helpful youtube video or catching up with posts on social media. Honestly, I am guilty of falling into this trap of “multi-tasking” as well.
Pardon me if it sounds too harsh, but shame on us. Shame on us for devaluing the person that is engaged talking with us. Have we forgotten that when people speak, they need us? There is a connection being sought. We as the listeners also need them. We need the practice in empathy, or clarity, or maybe we need to grow with our friend or family member in the challenging or funny issue they desire to share. If we give the appearance of listening, let’s commit and actually listen. And when we share, may we receive the same courtesy. No one wants to be ignored, trivialized, or put second to information.
So to those who embrace full listening, thank you! Thank you for taking the time and demonstrating the self-discipline to put the email and social media down, minimize the distractions, visualize the eyes of the speaker, and connect.
May we connect more.
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Two boys in a boat
Sail;
Forging the bonds of brotherhood.Brothers
Leader
Will you lead through the fire?
What when the fire dies?
Who are you leading and do you know your why?
Do you promote yourself above others?
Or do you look and see others, weaving talents together to yield a cloth of multiplied strength?
Deceptive is the idea that the best leader is one most skilled in his craft (be it flying a plane, designing technology, etc).
Perhaps leading others is a skill in itself.
Look just below the highest performing worker… for the one who watches, observes, encourages, challenges the team to grow.
Can an intrinsically skilled leader of people lead in multiple contexts, regardless of his/her specific job training?
Leader, lead people and know why you lead.
Life is Sailing 